AWARENESS IS A SUPER POWER
How mindfulness helped me conquer my fears around competing
The time had finally come. I weighed in, got a great warm-up in, refueled, and changed into my singlet. I was going to take the competition stage very soon.
I was energized and ready. Leading up to this competition, it was very important to me to soak up the whole experience, to take in every moment and be fully immersed in the present. To be fully aware of my surroundings and how it felt to be in my body.
I walked to the loading area with my coaches, handed my personal items to the basket attendant, and kept listening to my favorite competition-day songs.
Five matches out. Three matches out. On deck. It’s finally here, my first match of the Senior World Championships. I take off my headphones, take one last sip of water, and step into the walkway. Cameras are in front of me, ready to capture my strut to the mat. I inhale a deep breath, exhale with a smile, take in my surroundings, and feel the vibration of the arena course through my body.
I remember thinking to myself, You never know which match will be your last, so appreciate every bit of this moment.
A past version of me would have felt tense, scared, and full of dread for what was about to happen. But the present me was calm, centered, and grateful for the opportunity. I genuinely couldn’t wait to step foot on that mat and put my heart on display.
I was free to be wholeheartedly myself, something a past version of me couldn’t figure out how to do on a consistent basis.
The Struggle Before the Breakthrough
Competition anxiety was such a struggle for me to overcome and honestly, it’s still a work in progress. I used to be overwhelmed with nerves, negative self-talk, and doubt. I’d step onto the mat with tension all throughout my body, feeling like I was fighting myself more than my opponent.
Competing felt more stressful than it did exciting. I struggled to understand why I couldn’t just perform the way I knew I was capable of. I had done the training, the conditioning, the drilling, I did everything I thought I was supposed to do. But when it came time to compete, I felt paralyzed by disbelief and unnecessary pressure I put on myself.
I didn’t realize it then, but my mind needed training. I was physically ready, but it never occurred to me that I needed to train my mind in the same way I trained my body. I wasn’t putting in mental performance reps and that was a huge part of the equation that I was missing. I was often told to just not be nervous. I desperately wanted to execute that. I thought if I just worked harder, I wouldn’t have a reason to be nervous. Come to find out, the mind doesn’t exactly work that way.
Learning to Train the Mind
Everything started to shift when I began working with a mindset coach. For the first time, I learned how much our thoughts shape our performance and how often our inner dialogue can either build us up or break us down.
My coach helped me see that confidence isn’t about feeling fearless, it’s about acting with intention, even when fear is present. We started unpacking the stories I told myself before matches:
“What if I lose? What if I disappoint people?”
And we replaced them with questions that put my focus where it belonged:
“What can I control? What kind of effort do I want to bring?”
That’s when I realized I hadn’t been utilizing one of the most powerful tools available to me, my mind. From that point forward, I knew mindset training was non-negotiable. Just like technique, the mind needs daily reps too.
Discovering Awareness — the True Super Power
Later, I began working with our team sports psychologist, Peter, in addition to the work I was doing with my mindset coach. Peter introduced me to the concept that made the lightbulb go off in my mind. I learned the power of awareness.
Awareness, he explained, is our super power. It allows us to notice our thoughts and emotions without being ruled by them. It gives us the space to choose how we respond, rather than reacting on autopilot or trying to force the feelings away.
Before, when nerves hit, I’d spiral thinking something was wrong with me for feeling anxious. I would often try to convince myself that I wasn’t afraid even though everything in my body was telling me I was. Now, when those same sensations show up, I recognize them for what they are: signals that my body is preparing to perform, reminders that I care deeply about what I do.
Awareness gives me the ability to meet those feelings with curiosity instead of judgment. It became a cue to lean into my values. I was able to remind myself in those moments of why I choose to wrestle and what/who I’m doing it for.
Putting Awareness Into Practice
At Worlds, awareness became my anchor. When I felt the familiar rush of adrenaline before walking out, I noticed it, smiled, and breathed. I reminded myself: You’ve done the work. You belong here. God brought you to this moment. What a gift to be able to use what He’s given you to glorify Him.
Every sound, every vibration, every inhale, I let myself be fully there for it. And because of that, I wrestled freely. I trusted myself. I competed with peace, not pressure.
I wasn’t fighting to silence fear; I was simply aware of it, letting it exist without letting it lead.
The Bigger Lesson
Awareness didn’t erase my nerves, it changed my relationship with them. It gave me permission to feel everything and the freedom to choose my response.
That’s what makes awareness a super power: it gives us choice.
The choice to pause, to breathe, and to respond with intention. The choice to show up as our fullest selves, even when fear whispers in the background.
Closing Reflection
Competing without fear isn’t about never feeling nervous again. It’s about being fully present and aware enough to recognize the nerves, thank them for showing up, and still step forward with courage.
When you learn to open yourself up to awareness, on the mat, in life, or anywhere in between, that’s when you unlock your true power.
If this mindset and faith-based reflection resonates with you, I created something to help athletes grow in the same way– The Faith-Filled Athlete Journal. It’s designed to help you connect your faith, mindset, and performance so you can compete, and live, with more peace and purpose.
