What Girls in Wrestling Really Need From Their Parents
There’s a moment every wrestling parent knows: your daughter’s pacing near the mat, headphones on, zoned in. You say, “Good luck! So proud! Go get ’em!” And in return… an eye roll. Oof. It stings.
But here’s the truth: she’s not ungrateful. She’s overwhelmed. What she needs in that moment isn’t a pep talk, but a space to stay focused. Girls in wrestling are navigating intensity, nerves, and the heavy pressure to perform. Underneath the singlet and headgear is a young athlete trying to stay calm, stay confident, and stay in control. Parents can learn to provide an environment that helps their athlete thrive at competition.
You’re the steady in her chaos and the calm she counts on when everything else is ramping up. When you understand what really helps in high-pressure moments, you become the one other parents quietly admire and ask, “What’s your secret?”
1. Myth: Say something encouraging before every match
Reality: Quiet presence helps her stay focused
She’s already hyped. Her mind is on strategy, breathing, nerves. Adding energy or emotion can distract her. Instead:
Ask, “Do you need anything?”
Say, “Okay, I’ll see you after”
Handle practicals like water, mat assignment, or finding her coach
Resist the urge to fill silence. Sometimes silence is exactly what she needs
2. Myth: If I didn’t wrestle, I can’t help
Reality: You don’t need mat time to be a meaningful part of her journey
Wrestling knowledge is helpful, but it’s not required to be a great support system. What matters more is your willingness to learn and ask smart questions. You can:
Ask, “What’s your goal for this tournament?” or “What do you want to focus on this week?”
Help her evaluate camps, clubs, or travel options
Listen when she vents and ask, “Do you want advice or just to talk it out?”
Be her sounding board, not her coach, so she can process matches and evaluate her next steps
What she needs isn’t a wrestling expert. She needs a trusted partner who believes in her, no matter the result.
3. Myth: Hype her up before she competes
Reality: Be her calm, not her fuel
She already has adrenaline. What she needs is grounding. You can:
Give the bout number without adding stress
Manage the backpack so her mental space is free
Sit with her without expectation, just being a steady presence
4. Myth: Give last-minute advice to help her wrestle better
Reality: Trust her preparation and let her plan unfold
Right before a match isn’t the time for tactical reminders. Support her by:
Reviewing strategy with her earlier in the week, if she wants
Trusting that she and her coaches have it handled
Saying, “I know you’ve got a plan. Let me know if anything changes”
Letting her walk to the mat with a clear, quiet mind
5. Myth: If she’s snappy or distant, something’s wrong
Reality: She’s locked in and needs space
Don’t take short answers or a quiet vibe personally. Instead:
Keep your energy even, not reactive
Handle her stuff so she doesn’t have to
Let her lead any conversation pre- or post-match
6. Myth: Be involved every step of the way
Reality: Be involved where it counts most, which is behind the scenes
She doesn’t need micromanagement. She needs backup. Step in by:
Managing tournament and travel details
Working together to create training and competition plans that meet the budget and goals
Organizing meals, rest, and recovery so she can focus on training
Guiding her to be the decision maker and communicate with her coaches
Quietly stepping back once she’s in competition mode
7. Myth: This is her journey alone
Reality: You’re her partner, just not always in the spotlight
Wrestling is an individual sport, but no one gets through it alone. Your job is:
Learning the sport enough to advocate for her when needed
Asking questions that help her think, but allow her autonomy in decision making
Encouraging her without expectations or conditions
Celebrating her effort regardless of outcome
8. Myth: After a match, she needs to hear what went wrong
Reality: She needs food, space, and maybe a nap
Even if you saw something important, wait. Instead:
Offer her a snack or warm clothes
Say “Let me know when you want to talk about it” instead of diving in
Celebrate her grit and effort first
Let her decide when the review happens, if at all
The Parent-as-Partner Mindset
The best thing you can do for your daughter isn’t being loud, intense, or overly involved. It’s working like a behind-the-scenes business manager who believes in her fully and trusts her process. That means:
Helping her make a plan before the chaos hits
Supporting her when she’s problem-solving or overwhelmed
Taking things off her plate like meals and logistics
Stepping back with confidence once it’s time for her to shine
Because your steady presence isn’t just support. It fuels the entire process of creating a powerful athlete. And it gives her the freedom to grow, compete, and lead. When you are right there in her corner, it’s exactly where she needs you.
